In the red corner, we have the reigning champion. Heavyweight-hitter with a goal of world domination, Mr. weed-sucking-the-life-out-of-your-plants Dandy Lion!
In the blue corner we have the challenging underdog, featherweight with a goal of yard weed annihilation, 5minutemom.
5minutemom does some fast talking. "Dude, first I'm going to boil your roots and kill your potential to dig deep and fight against me....
You will never age.
You will not grow grey.
You will never see your grandchildren.
(Leans close and whispers)You will die alone and friendless.