And now so am I.
It’s barely 5 am but we both know that neither of us is going back to sleep.
“Ok, Little man. Let’s go to the kitchen.”
We toddle down the hall together and wince at the brightness of the kitchen lights.
“Let’s make our drink.”
I concoct our usual spinach-banana-berry smoothie and we sip it in silence. My mind is racing with the things I can get done at this early hour--extra load of laundry, longer Bible time, perhaps get to the cupboard that is disorganized and makes me grimace each time I look at it.
But then his curly head rests against my chest. His chest rises and falls softly and his arms wrap around me.
“Let’s just snuggle,” I say. He nods, still snuggled into me.
We read my Bible together and I read in Isaiah how it pleased God to bruise Jesus for my sake.
My little man is tucked into my arms and peeks his big eyes at me. Thoughts of laundry and other things fall to the wayside.
Wasn’t it just yesterday, he peeked his eyes at me for the first time?
Wasn’t it just yesterday when it was 2 am feedings?
When did he get big?
I think it was sometime during my frantic clean ups of the house and my mad dash to change diapers.
“How about we play?” I suggest, and a little grin tugs at his lips.
“What should we play?”
He holds up his feet and says, “Mark,” Which I have come to know is his short form for this little piggie went to MARKET. The piggie went to the market several times this morning.
We weigh the pros and cons of a diaper change, decide on snuggling instead.
We make up new poems and sit on the heating register together while the furnace air warms us.
The dinosaurs call to us and we re-stage a massive attack on the herbivores. There are no survivors.
We sit contentedly in yet another moment of impromptu snuggling. And my morning devotions come back to me.
God sent His only Son, Jesus, to pay for my sins. It pleased Him to bruise His Son so that I may know Him. Who can comprehend a love like that?
I cry and taste the salt of my tears.
To sit in the quiet of the morning with my only son and know that I am loved in a way that goes beyond my understanding. To rest in such incredible knowledge and to be still.
And to know.
He is God.