Monday, December 10, 2012

Tribute to Snowmen

I *heart* snowmen.
I do.
Today was all about showing our snow friends a little love.
This morning, I woke up prepared to make snowman pancakes. Check out the whipped cream backdrop of snow.


I call this one, " Blonde Diva Snow Sistah" (shout out to my sister, Amy. She is my blonde inspiration.)

'Zis is Pierre from France. Ohlala, non?

Banana man was quite tasty as well.

After work this morning, I came home and set up this display.
Then I ushered my kids and asked them a very tough question:
What do you think we are going to learn about today?
My four year old, the genius, says, "Snowmen, right?!"
Correct-o mondo, little genius man.

First, we opened our Snowman Assembly Kit and created...

various works of art,

using various materials

with various hairstyles.

Next, it was time for some math. 
We decided to measure things in carats carrots.

We would guess how many large carrots it would take to measure a chair, Christmas tree, stocking, pointsetta plant and storage bins. Then followed up by measuring with small carrots. 
Super fun game!

Then we tried making a stacking snowman out of apple and peanut butter. A challenge.

More snowman art.
inspiration for a few different poems
and a very interesting discussion on how snowmen are nomads.

Then my daughter B and I invented a game.
This is loads of fun. All you need is a transparent sheet to slide the paper thermometer into.
Then, using a red erase marker you can draw on the thermometer and move it up and down as the dice indicates.
If you roll a 2,4 or 6 you move the thermometer up 10 degrees. If you go pass zero degrees, you eat one of the snowmen's marshmallows.
If you roll a 1,3 or 5 you move down 10 degrees. This is the only way you can save the snowman from melting.

As you can see, the heat is high and our snowman is melting.

And eventually, he succumbs to his sun-baked fate much to the delight of my daughter's mouth.

Next we played Word Scrambles.
For my early reader, she needed to match and read the words. My eldest had to make the words plural.
And my youngest had to match up the letters.

Then it was time to visit the Snack Shack--where three grumpy Snowmen were created as well as this poem:

Three Grumpy Snowmen standing out at night
One said, "Oh gee! My belt is too tight!" 
The other on said, "Ohh! My belly has cramps!
I guess I shouldn't have eaten that street lamp."
The third one said, " Oh! My tummy feels fat. 
I guess that's what happens when you eat your friend's hat."

That gave us an idea....

We enrolled 4 snowmen, who shall remain nameless for the sake of privacy, into the 


These four individuals were feeling that the battle of the bulge was hurting their Christmas spirits this year.
We invited each of them to try our various methods of weight loss.
We here at Melt Away the Pounds (M.A.P.) have created a specially formulated plan to remove unwanted weight gain. We use the latest technologically. And since snowmen are made in three parts, it's easiest to just remove that middle snowball, put it through the rigors and then presto-change-oh, a brand new you!

We took the snowmen through several treatments.
Here is a description of our various treatments.

Roll Away the Pounds
Our masseuse Anya will roll you back and forth, taking inches off your waist line.

The much talked about Steam Bath Solution allows your middle section to be held over a steaming kettle for 30 seconds to create a slimmer version of you

The Fountain of Youth is the simple solution of sitting in cool water.
We're hoping to shrink all those unwanted wobbly bits and send you out the door with a rejuvenated look!

The Peppermint Tea Bath
Let the soothing hot water melt off those top layers of unwanted marshmallow.
Get in touch with your younger self through the osmosis process called 

The Facial Peel 
For the brave of heart, the Facial Peel offers that instant lift.
Start the day off with a new you.

Hot Air Balloon-No-More
Take that snowman balloon belly and give it a blast of hot air. 
This treatment has been a favourite of Melt Away the Pound clients for years.

Our final treatment, is a new and controversial one.
It's called " Go Big or Go Home" 
It's based in the idea of "things will get worse before they get better."
In microwave heat, your middle snowball will be expanded to three, maybe four times, it's original size.
As it cools, your body will collapse shrink to a smaller size.
Waiver must be signed before any procedures occur. 

Here they are: BEFORE M.A.P.

Here they are: AFTER
As you can clearly see, the Roll Away the Pounds is the clear winner.
That Anya, what a masseuse!

The Go Big or Go Home treatment was the loser.
It is true that you go big...but that's it. 
Then you just get in the car and go home.
So, no false advertising there!

We wrote down all our hypothesis and results. 
My favourite response was when I asked my eldest daughter for her hypothesis for the 
Peppermint Tea Bath:
"A great change will occur."

Dinner was a quick and easy meal of 
Leftover Mittens and Scarves (salad)
Forgotten Branches (hot dog weiners. Bake in oven for shrivelled effect)
Lost and found noses (carrots)
Seen better days Top Hats (marbled cheese)
and to drink...
Melted Snowman (water)

1 comment:

ann said...

Ah, my friend...just when I was beginning to think you were normal! What a relief to know that you have the same affectation for Calvin snowmen comics that have long spoken to my deepest inmost need for belly laughs. I worry a wee bit at the malicious nature of the marshmallow torture methods, but if the snowmen signed the waiver, then you are off the hook (legally, if not ethically).

Now can you do something about the lack of snowmen-building materials? I have plenty of everything except the white stuff.