Mediate Your Way to the (Candle) Light

I want to introduce to you, my good friend, Pythagoras. I bought him at a yard sale. It's the word the used to describe Tanagrams back then. If you look at the design of the box it screams circa 1960's. I'm guessing that they used a Greek sounding word (or perhaps a real Grek word, I'm not sure) to make it sound like some high IQ game.

I got it because it was 15cents and was about shapes.

See that picture of the candle in the top right corner of this slightly fuzzy photo. That is our goal today friends.

My 4 year old is going to make it. (INTENTIONALITY AND RECIPROCITY)

And I am going to mediate while she does.

Look out Socrates, there's a new Questioner in town.

You start at the very beginning (that's a very good place to start-name that musical!)

My daughter studies the picture and I ask, "So, how should we begin?"

She points to the bottom of the picture.

"What shape is that?"

"A triangle."

"What kind of triangle?"

"It looks big."

"Let's try comparing the pieces."

(There is a flurry of activity as daughter compares the 7 pieces. She decides on the white, fat triangle)

Next, she determines that another big triangle goes into this design.

I ask her questions to make sure she is putting the piece in accurately.

We hem and haw over the next few pieces. I ask, "Do we need to make it exactly like the picture?, What happens if we don't line up the triangles exactly, what will it look like?"

She carefully places the triangles down and then we talk about dogs.

After our random discussion on dogs, we return to a careful study of the picture. We have three shapes left. And the next shape is a triangle. She chooses the correct shape, leaving the square and the parallelogram for the next stage.

Once she figured out the base of the candle the rest was easy.

"Do you think it was important to follow the picture?"

She nods.

"Why?"

"Well, I can't make a candle without it."

"Well, you could have, but..."

"Mommy, it would take me forever!"

"So what can we learn about following instructions?" (MEANING)

"I don't know."

"You said it would take forever if we didn't have the picture guide. Can instructions help us?"

"Yes."

"How?"

"So we can make candles quickly."

"Yes. And we can make many other things quickly. Like..." (BRIDGING)

"Like cookies!"

"Yes, and cakes!"

Bridging: Using Books to Make the Connection

A great idea that my friend Yvonne mentioned at the last Mediated Learning workshop was the idea of using characters or scenes from books to bridge a concept for your child.

Perhaps you have a child who is needing some self-regulation.

"Remember how Anne lost her temper with Gilbert in Anne of Green Gables? What did she miss out on for two years while she held a grudge against Gilbert? Do you think that if you continue in this behaviour you might miss out on something special?"

Perhaps you want to introduce the idea of self-change to your child.

"Remember the story of Paddle-to-the-Sea? Did Paddle-to-the-sea stay the same way throughout his whole journey? Did the little boat's facade change at all? Let's look at this past year of learning, can you see any way that you are like Paddle-to-the-sea--maybe you started out one way but ended up different?"

Perhaps belonging is an important element that needs to be discussed with your child.

"Why do you think the Pepper children were so happy even in their poverty in Five Little Peppers? How did they make each other feel loved and special? How do you feel loved and special and a part of our family?"

If goal planning is a concept that needs explaining, try this approach:

How do you think Pa knew how to build his own house in Little House on the Prairie? What steps do you think he took? Do you think you could use the concept of making a plan to tackle this problem? What kind of plan would you use?

Stories remain with us. That is the power of good literature.

Our children can see the progression of a character in a book because they are along for the journey as they are told the story. Let's use this to our advantage and use it as a way to bridge understanding to our children's learning.

What book could you use to bridge with today?

Know what I Mean?

Today was bliss!

I attended ML Workshop #3--great job John and Joycelyn!

I really enjoyed the tag-team effect of John and Joycelyn. It was great getting some male perspective on how to interact with your kids from John. He taught with a sense of humour and made things very practical for all. Joycelyn is so fun to watch and learn from when she is excited about what she is teaching. She kept jumping up and saying, "Oh, and here's one more thing..." It was contagious and we got caught up in it.

If you get a chance to learn from them, take Nike's advice and just do it!

(We missed you Therese!)

Anyway, I downloaded a lot. But my processing chip (my brain) is like a commodore 64 and can only compute so much. So, as I learned today: "Sleep on it. Give your brain a chance to rest and then once the information is processed, start to act on it." Expect to see results coming out sometime next week as my brain goes into hibernation to make all these new connections and applications of Cognitive Functions in the area of reading.

But here is one gem that I HAVE to throw in. And it's in the area of the Core of Mediated Learning. And it's this:

When you bring meaning into the discussion with your kids, make it meaningful to them.

Now, that sounds obvious enough. However, I was so focused on making sure I hit all three core elements that I forgot an important clue: relevance.

I have been infusing meaning into some of the mediated moments by talking about ideas or elements that are not important to my child. When your child makes the connection that what he/she is learning has significance to her/him then meaning is fully achieved.

So, does this mean all my other mediated moments have been complete flops?

Nope.

It means I'm learning and I'm learning to do things better.

And realizing that is significant, don't ya think?

D is for dictionary, Mom

One of the newest sayings around our house is:

"How can you find out what that word means?"

And of late, the response has become, "Oh no! Don't tell me to use the dictionary!"

Yes, that hardly ever been used well worn book is the one I mean.

We were reading the story of Laura Secord and a word caught my daughter's attention.

"What does 'pillaged' mean?"

"How can we find out?" (intentionality and reciprocity)

"Don't say it, don't say it! I know you are going to tell me the dictionary!"

"Do you think that would be a good book to look at for the meaning of 'pillaged'?"

"Ye--essssss."

"Good decision."

We read an obscure version of pillaged that leaves us with the word 'plunder'.

"Pirates plunder don't they? But there are no pirates where Laura Secord lives."

"Well, maybe plunder doesn't just have to do with pirates, maybe it has a deeper meaning."

I get the look. "Are we going to have to look up plunder now?"

I shrug. "Depends. Do you want to know what pillaged means?"

"Well, yes. But why can't you just tell me what it means and we can go back to reading?"

To be quite honest, I am thinking the same thing. Why don't I just tell her and we can get on to the fun stuff?

But I stay the course:

"Why do you think it's important for you to learn to use the dictionary?"

"Mo-om!" an exasperated laugh escapes my daughter's mouth.

"I could tell you the answer, but where is the fun in learning if I just tell you everything?"

"Well, we could hear the rest of the story."

"We could, but I think it will mean more to all of us if we know what the word pillage means. Then we can understand what Laura's family went through and understand the hardships her family faced. (Meaning) What do you think?"

"OK, but you're going to read what the definition of plunder is, Mom."

"Excuse me?"

Sigh. "Please Mom."

"I think I can do that. Plunder: to rob using violence or force."

"So the soldiers robbed Laura Secord's family. Why didn't they just say that?"

"Why do you think they didn't just say that?"

"Mo--om!"

* I had to go back and bridge after this discussion. Upon writing it out I realized I had no bridging moment in here. Here's what I did:

"Hey, you know I was thinking about how we were using the dictionary to learn about the meaning of pillage and plunder. You know, the dictionary is a great book for us to use in all sorts of situations so that we can understand what a person is saying. Think of how handy it will be when you are reading a manual like our new dishwasher manual. You can make sure you understand what they are saying by knowing the definitions if you come across a word you don't understand."

I then took her to our dishwasher manual and found a word that was ambiguous to me. We looked it up. This lead to a discussion on precision and accuracy. I also asked her what other manuals or books could the dictionary help her understand.

Don't be afraid to go back and bridge a conversation from earlier that day. We are still learning how to create a mediated moment. Sometimes, upon reflection you realize that an element from the core has been missed. Don't worry about it. Go back and see if you can implement it. If you can't then just take what you've learned for the next time.

Precisely my point!

After our human figure drawing revelations came to the light, precision has become a key word around here.

Precision and accuracy.

And we are having so many conversations about it.

Today, we discovered Hobo Signs (thank you Kit Kittridge, the American girl) and spent all day making up little signs to stick all over the house to let everyone know who was a nice neighbour and who has good garbage.

Then my daughter made a key with every sign in it so that we can refer to it as a guide (she came up with all of this herself!)

We then talked about symbols being used for words and the proper use and spelling of words. Some symbols looked the same, but if you aren't accurate in depicting the symbol then you can mislead a fellow hobo.

And then we bridged that to spelling. Do the words we write need to be spelled accurately?

If so, why? What can happen if we don't spell words accurately?

And we had a nice little chat about communication and making sure everybody is understanding each other clearly.

Turns out I'm a cat symbol. A kind hearted lady.

ML Technique Focus: Precision and Accuracy

Getting a Habit--but not the kind nun's wear

Today, I wanted to take some time and work on creating a new habit.

The habit of Asking Questions and LISTENING. Sometimes I ask questions but then I answer them for my children, which kind of (kind of?) defeats the purpose.

I also observed that my eldest was doing all the talking for her sister. My four year old would mimic her big sister or look to her for what her answer should be.

I set aside some time today to work one-on-one with my four year old with the Intention of Asking her Questions and letting her answer them her own way. I shared with her that it was important that she make the decisions during this task because I wanted something that was uniquely her idea(Meaning). After all, we want her to have some neat things to show Daddy when he gets home later and to use this week that will help her learn our new poem. (Bridging to the Future). In my mind, this was a weak bridge, but it was all I had at the moment. I didn't really think ahead on a way to bridge this one!

I brought out all sorts of art supplies. My daughter and I went over all the creatures we'd need. A horse, bird, spider, dog, cow,cat, fly and goat were all on the agenda. I told myself to ask questions as much as possible and avoid giving any answers.

We began with, "Which animal do you want to make first?" Followed with "What do you want to use to make it?" "Is there any body parts that you want to include?" "What will you use to make fur?" "How big do you think we should cut the nose?"

This is the horse. I was quite amazed at her creativity. I also observed how she saw a horse and what parts she felt were vital to include.

We kept going. I had set apart an hour for this task while the babe napped and my eldest drew and read.

This is a horribly out of focus cat. My daughter chose large ears. I asked if cat's had anything in particular on their face? (Using the step forward approach--I will blog about this at a later time)

"Whiskers," she whispered. So we added some.

For the most part, I think I only told her to do something two or three times. And...And!!!...when we got to the last animal she started to dialogue out loud, saying,

"Hmmm...how am I going to make this one? Do we have feathers? I need a nose and eyes and a body. Mom, what do you want to use for the body?"

Here's our motley crew creatures that she created...all on her own. She made them as a result of answering questions.

ML Technique: Asking Questions

The building blocks of learning

Ok, now that some serious thinking and praying for an idea has happened, I'm ready (maybe) to mediate our biggest hurdle at present: " I hate math!"

I prayed and the Lord gave me a picture to relate to my daughter about the role that math plays in our lives and He gave me some direction in how to go about it.

We had a great 45 minute discussion and for the benefit of time, I will give you the highlights or a slightly edited version.

I invite my daughter to sit down and talk with me about math and explain that I want us to enjoy learning about it together. (Intentionality and Recrpocity)

I first introduce her to the three blocks that all of our learning is done on.

Yep, literally three blocks. Reading. Writing. Arithmetic.

I then asked her to look around the room and tell me what she liked about the room. She noted different toys, different colors, etc. Then she started talking about up cleaning up and how she liked that our shelves were organized and in order.

"If I took everything off and had to put them back on (without order) I'd be puzzled."

"Great insight," I comment.

I put two yellow blocks up and said, "Did you know that orderliness and being organized comes from math?"(Bridging)

A look of surprise comes on her face.

We talk about sorting, grouping objects together and how that helps us in our home. (Meaning)

"Do you think that's a useful skill to have?"

"Yes."

I place the red block on top of the two yellow signifying it's importance in our daily lives.

Then she started talking about organizing her room and since we set up an orderly system it's easy to keep clean. She noted that her room is easier to keep clean because it is smaller than the living room. She then got up and measured her room in feet (we were in the living room).

I asked her if she realized the comparing and measuring were math skills. (Bridging)

"Oh, that's right!" she said.

I put two small building blocks to stack on top of the previous red one.

I then asked if she wondered why being able to compare room size would be beneficial. (Meaning)

"Do you think that's a useful skill to have?"She thought about it and then we talked about how understanding size and being able to measure things helps us know what can go into the room, how big to build a house, etc.

Once she saw the valued connection with comparing and measuring, I put a red block on top of the bridges.

Then we talked about going to the grocery store. We role played several possibilities that can happen when shopping and I bridged to some experiences that we had the previous day at a thrift store.

"What helped you figure out which items to buy?"

"Well, I only had five dollars and I wanted three things but could only get two of them."

"What decision were you able to make?"

"I chose what I really wanted and put one item back."

"Did you know that math helped you do that." (Bridging)

"Oh no! Not subtraction!"

"Yep and addition helped too." I placed two blocks on the building again.

We talked through that scenario again that took place at the store and walked through her thought process about how she decided. (Meaning) (Competence)

"Do you think that's a useful skill to have?"

Once she saw how valuable adding and subtracting are to different areas in our lives, we added the red block on top.

We talked a little bit about distance and shapes and some other things. Then we stacked up up two more triangles on top to show that math makes life interesting. This tower is our life and math helped us build it. (Sharing)

Then we took a few minutes to play and have fun.

I then reminded her of her first statement, "I hate math."

"Imagine," I said, as I approached one of the blocks. "What would happen if we didn't learn subtraction and we lived our whole life without knowing how to do it." (Bridging)

"What do you think would happen?"

"Uh-oh!"

Crash! (Meaning)

"How does this change our life?"

"It's broken. You can't build on it. It's fallen over."

"Right. Can you see why learning math is important?"

"Yeah."

"Would you like to brainstorm with me some ideas on how we can make math more fun?"

"Sure."

We pulled out several books and inventoried our games and came up with 8 new ways that we could approach math. (Optimistic Alternative)

We left this conversation with a united sense of purpose. We are traveling the math path together. I'm learning to undo former ways of being taught to do math, and she's learning how it all fits into the big picture of life. A moment of success for build on for us.

Kind of like a red building block.

Give the Gift of Mount Vesuvius

I love the concept of package words.

Do you know what I mean?

The dictionary defines package as:

A container in which something is packed for storage or transportion.

A preassembled unit.

The idea is that you can speak one or two words to your child(package), but the meaning is vast, multi-layered and is a gift you've given them. (a pre-assembled unit)

Creating package words can be fairly simple if you have some imagination, some time and a burning desire to get your message across.

Our current code word around here is VOLCANO.

It's based on the scripture in Proverbs 29:11 "A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.'

Sometimes, and I know you'll drop your jaw in shock when I say this, but sometimes we give full vent to our anger in our house.

This crazy woman at our house sometimes loses her cool and yells (but never when the windows are open and the neighbours are in their yard) and then these crazy kids who live in this house also yell when they get mad. A vicious cycle they are in. So my family and I thought we'd sit down and teach them a little lesson about being foolish.

It went like this:

1. Make a volcano. Mix the dough together, smoosh it around the pop bottle and tada, you have a replica of Mount St. Helens. (real directions here)

2. Talk about (Intentionality and Reciprocity)how what you like about your volcano. It's strong, it's beautiful, it's the best thing ever. It looks very serene on the outside, but sometimes inside their are deep rumblings occuring and pressure is building.

Now discuss how we are like a volcano. We're strong, we're beautiful, we're the best thing ever! Sometimes we can look serene but sometimes inside pressure is building.

3. Now BRIDGE to a situation in the family that's been recent and recall how things escalated. ie. Remember how Mom saw that you hadn't done what she asked and she started to get frustrated. (pour in the baking soda), and then when you didn't respond right away, what happened?

"Mom exploded!" ( Add vinegar. This works really effectively if you have food colouring in your volcano)

4. Trace the patterns that the spewing lava made, watch the lahars and how they flowed in several directions rather than in one.

"When Mom got angry and started to yell, it was like she was spewing lava out of her mouth wasn't it?" (Infuse Meaning)

"Yeah" ( A few giggles and perhaps gross re-enactment may follow. Pull 'em back on task)

"What does lava do to your skin?"

"Burns it. Hurts you badly."

"Do you think words can be like lava?"

"yeah."

"Yeah. I don't want to be a fool any more, giving full vent to my anger and causing my words to hurt you badly. So, what we are going to do is whenever we see someone in the house starting to rumble like a volcano, we are going to remind them of our code word."

"What's our code word?"

"Volcano!"

Within half an hour to an hour, you have just imparted a package to your children that has a weight of meaning to it. It's a word that can stop them in their tracks and cause them to rethink what they are doing because they immediately see the picture in their mind of the volcano spilling over.

It is an effective tool that works way better than, "You better stop that right now."

Or so I'm told. I've never had to say that in my house.

Only the crazy woman who lives there has done that ;)